May 13, 2004, 7:02 p.m, Six pounds and thirteen ounces later my very first niece was born! WoOhoo. I wasnt able to be there cus of a stupid final i had that thursday, boo. Only my granny and bro in law were allowed in the delivery room with my sister. Geez..i heard it was very PAINFUL, more so than i imagined it to be. But you know, how comfortable can you be with a complete stranger invading your privates with shinny cold scissors? i asked her when she was going to pop out the next one and she said she was never going to do it again...i asked her the same question again yesterday and she replied "at the most, im only going to have 2 children," how soon she forgets.

The baby must be outraged. Its just like when adam and eve were cast out of the garden of eden.  imagine being forced out from total paradise into some place you knew nothing about. She was able to eat, sleep, dump, and piss whenever she felt like it. The rough clothy surroundings are completely opposite from the comforts of her mommy's tummy. Its no wonder babies ask the same question when they're born! "why?!!!" Its the only word they're willing to scream out. Their cries repeat the question over and over again. it inspires in me a sense of pity and compassion for them.

Not many of us can actually deny the fact we all wish to be swept off our feet by either Prince Charming or Sleeping Beauty. We want to fall madly in love with “the one” who we envision the rest of our lives with. It must be fate. Our destiny. We expect romance, passion, and excitement. After the words “I do” are exchanged at the alter, we image living out the rest of our lives in a peaceful happily after ever. The candle light dinners for two, bright red roses for no special occasion, hugs, and kisses gradually decrease until they are almost non existent. For many couples, marriage becomes a disappointingly trivial conclusion to something significant, namely, the rest of our lives. All that we had anticipated seem as a dream compared to reality. The swashbuckling man you had married has lost the battles of everyday life and thus exiled on a minuscule island never to return again. Why is this so? Why does a family become a habit set by daily routine instead of an adventurous joy ride we appreciate and treasure?  

            Society has already installed a traditional image of what the middle class family should be. They are to own their own house guarded by a white picket fence, and to be living comfortably with the husband as the breadwinner and the old fashion idea of a house wife. We are constantly flashed with reminders by advertisements, television shows, and even ideology of our own parents. But what is normal family behavior? The norm of the happy family is under constant attack this day and age by the raising divorce rates, abortions, and single parents. What is advertised to be “normal” are not normal at all. The concepts delivered in the construction of “the family” shown in movies and television all come together to form this incredible let down with no cushion to catch our fall.

           Marriage starts out to be fun and exciting. You're in love and happy once upon a time, but somehow over the years, you grew apart. People change. You and I are not the same as we were five years ago. No one stays the same, which is part of what keeps things interesting, but it also creates a problem. Instead of growing together, we grew apart, the person who once understood your deepest thoughts now seem a complete stranger. We do not know the lifespan of love, but are convinced of its essentiality. The heated passion that once was will eventually disappear, so hope what you have left is something able and willing to sustain time. Is it love? We promise the moon and the stars, but over time things just settle down and we simply get used to the other person. We lose the butterflies in our stomachs, the carefully applied make-up, and the expansive gifts. We just get accustomed to the presence of each other after being together year after year. Our priorities and responsibilities change which lead to a lifestyle change that may leave the other person behind.

            Some families have everything they need yet the couple still brakes away from each other. So much expectation is built before the marriage, taught to us by society, that when we actually do take the plunge, we are disappointed and feel like failures in the end. Sure, most people would like a lifetime soul mate, but then there's that widely quoted 50 percent divorce rate to consider. For a significant percentage of the population, marriage just doesn't turn out to be as gratifying as it promises. I’m not implying that all marriages turn out to be a disappointment. It takes work to being content with the outcome of a marriage. Both parties have to be willing to work at it. The households that submerge are no match for what society has drawn them out to be. And for this reason, many of us are disappointed from the high expectations we have developed from watching television and commercials. The twentieth century has opened many new doors for us. If both parties are successful in loving each other, the rewards at the end of the road can be worth it. What would be better than to find someone you really can spend the rest of your life with? Never feel lonely again. We go into marriage empty handed yet with a full head of presumptions, we can gain the security with someone who loves us back. Like Lester says in the film American Beauty, “When you've got nothing to lose, you might as well risk everything.”